i see a rainbow this morning
but it's not my rainbow
a billion clear drops or water
sunlight diffusing through them
white light jarred into a wild spectrum
into colors of hope
some type of reassurance
of consolation
it belongs to someone else
possibly for the driver beside me
or the whole clump of cars ahead of me
but they don't see it, heads down, distracted
this immense expanse of ripe color
it's might be theirs, but they don't see it
because they don't look up
i see the rainbow
still, i can't reach it or get near it
it will simply move father away
or worse, disappear, leaving just rain
it only exists right now
at this distance
at this time
it isn't a promise made to me
this morning, for this situation
i can't claim it for my own
can't hold on to it
can't own it or wear it as a symbol
promising that something will happen
or never happen ever again
it's not my rainbow
it's for someone else
i'm just eavesdropping
and know He still speaks
9.19.2016
1.13.2015
fighting against apathy?
There is an constant discussion (argument?) about modern worship these days. Is it really worship? Should we sing these songs at all? Shouldn't we just go back to the time-tested hymns?
It made me think. Why do a lot of people these days gravitate toward these songs, their music and lyrics?
Well, I had a thought. (shocker, right?)
A common and somewhat funny moniker used these days is the phrase "meh.". You can almost see the person just shrugging their shoulders while saying it. As I look around I see a lot of apathy. It seems to be borne out of frustration for everything going on in the world, pushing many towards this emotionless, helpless feeling where nothing seems to make a real difference.
Then look at this same group of Christians in the context of modern worship. What do we see? Passion!! Emotion!! Desire!! Hope!!
True emotions and passion, wrapped around the heart of their Creator.
Maybe what is being craved is a 'connection' with their Lord and Savior; a sense that He is there and brings passion, meaning, emotion, desire and hope to life.
Of course many do find that emotion and passion in the hymns, I'm not discounting that. And, it would be far too broad of a stroke to say that an entire generation isn't smart enough or intellectual enough to enjoy the lyrical content of hymns. To the contrary, I think many of them have genius inside of them and could pick apart Wesley's hymns in stride. But, the desire, the craving may be for something that is missing in our culture today. Much of this culture is drawn to a modern sound and loves the heart-to-heart passion contained in the sometimes simple lyrics of this new, "modern" worship.
It's just a thought, but maybe....
It made me think. Why do a lot of people these days gravitate toward these songs, their music and lyrics?
Well, I had a thought. (shocker, right?)
A common and somewhat funny moniker used these days is the phrase "meh.". You can almost see the person just shrugging their shoulders while saying it. As I look around I see a lot of apathy. It seems to be borne out of frustration for everything going on in the world, pushing many towards this emotionless, helpless feeling where nothing seems to make a real difference.
Then look at this same group of Christians in the context of modern worship. What do we see? Passion!! Emotion!! Desire!! Hope!!
True emotions and passion, wrapped around the heart of their Creator.
Maybe what is being craved is a 'connection' with their Lord and Savior; a sense that He is there and brings passion, meaning, emotion, desire and hope to life.
Of course many do find that emotion and passion in the hymns, I'm not discounting that. And, it would be far too broad of a stroke to say that an entire generation isn't smart enough or intellectual enough to enjoy the lyrical content of hymns. To the contrary, I think many of them have genius inside of them and could pick apart Wesley's hymns in stride. But, the desire, the craving may be for something that is missing in our culture today. Much of this culture is drawn to a modern sound and loves the heart-to-heart passion contained in the sometimes simple lyrics of this new, "modern" worship.
It's just a thought, but maybe....
8.26.2014
One thing off the list
One thing off the list...
Trish and I were commiserating that we wished that there could just be "one less thing on our list" these days. House repairs, yard work, school starting, interpersonal "stuff", parenting issues, extracurricular activities with the kids, ministries, animals, exercise (or lack of), work responsibilities, future planning, daily house cleaning, meal planning... the list goes on and on. In fact, I've made the lists many times and never go back to them because they are so long and daunting.
Sometimes it really is overwhelming and I get in this place where I start to "spin my tires". There is so much that needs to be done that I don't know where to start, so I end up - can you guess? - not getting anything done. What do I do? I escape a lot. I find a game, a book, a walk, a friend to hang out with, a TV show, etc.. None of these things are bad, but I have to be honest and say that many times I am just trying to 'not think about the list'. Unfortunately, this never really helps. The list is still there, getting longer and taunting me all the time.
Yesterday The List crossed my mind again and I started to worry and think about my next escape. I was also mulling over the "my grace is sufficient for you" verse as well. I have to say that I have had a hard time believing that verse at times and understanding how that actually works itself out on a day-to-day basis. One realization about the verse is that this "grace", that can be sufficient, can come in almost any form. It can encompass absolutely anything in the world, given by God, to help me in any situation. Yes, fellowship and communion can (and are) wonderful things to experience His grace, but it's hard to find an Elder to preside over the elements with me on a Tuesday when my car has a flat tire. ;-) But, sometimes a cup of coffee and stillness may be just what I need in that moment. 5 more minutes sleep, a few songs on my ipod, hitting a bucket of golf balls (poorly). I think all of these things can be His grace to help in my time of need and be sufficient.
Sufficient. Sufficient for what exactly? Sufficient to change a tire? To get rid of my headache? To teach math to the kid who can't make change in his head? :-) I doubt it....
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
I think it's talking about grace to "let go" of what I can't do or am doing wrong and let Him work in me. His grace might not magically change a tire, but it can help me to think about grabbing my son and making it a "moment" with him instead of just being frustrating. Grace to make a headache go away? Maybe not, but it sure can point me to Him, help me to let go of the anger that I have the headache and just be sad with Him, in that moment, that I have the headache and trust that He is there with me. Grace to teach a kid math? ;-) No, but grace to see that this kid, and I, are both broken, fallen, people with a million short comings and be a bit more patient as he figures out the total.
Back to the list.
I think part of what I need to do is "let go" of the idea of getting everything done on the list. I may, or may not, get it all done. But, I can look for God's grace, for everything on that list, one-at-a-time, and keep plugging along. And while the list grows or shrinks I can pray for grace to remember that I wrote this blog and maybe it can help me when I forget next time. ;-)
Matt
Trish and I were commiserating that we wished that there could just be "one less thing on our list" these days. House repairs, yard work, school starting, interpersonal "stuff", parenting issues, extracurricular activities with the kids, ministries, animals, exercise (or lack of), work responsibilities, future planning, daily house cleaning, meal planning... the list goes on and on. In fact, I've made the lists many times and never go back to them because they are so long and daunting.
Sometimes it really is overwhelming and I get in this place where I start to "spin my tires". There is so much that needs to be done that I don't know where to start, so I end up - can you guess? - not getting anything done. What do I do? I escape a lot. I find a game, a book, a walk, a friend to hang out with, a TV show, etc.. None of these things are bad, but I have to be honest and say that many times I am just trying to 'not think about the list'. Unfortunately, this never really helps. The list is still there, getting longer and taunting me all the time.
Yesterday The List crossed my mind again and I started to worry and think about my next escape. I was also mulling over the "my grace is sufficient for you" verse as well. I have to say that I have had a hard time believing that verse at times and understanding how that actually works itself out on a day-to-day basis. One realization about the verse is that this "grace", that can be sufficient, can come in almost any form. It can encompass absolutely anything in the world, given by God, to help me in any situation. Yes, fellowship and communion can (and are) wonderful things to experience His grace, but it's hard to find an Elder to preside over the elements with me on a Tuesday when my car has a flat tire. ;-) But, sometimes a cup of coffee and stillness may be just what I need in that moment. 5 more minutes sleep, a few songs on my ipod, hitting a bucket of golf balls (poorly). I think all of these things can be His grace to help in my time of need and be sufficient.
Sufficient. Sufficient for what exactly? Sufficient to change a tire? To get rid of my headache? To teach math to the kid who can't make change in his head? :-) I doubt it....
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
I think it's talking about grace to "let go" of what I can't do or am doing wrong and let Him work in me. His grace might not magically change a tire, but it can help me to think about grabbing my son and making it a "moment" with him instead of just being frustrating. Grace to make a headache go away? Maybe not, but it sure can point me to Him, help me to let go of the anger that I have the headache and just be sad with Him, in that moment, that I have the headache and trust that He is there with me. Grace to teach a kid math? ;-) No, but grace to see that this kid, and I, are both broken, fallen, people with a million short comings and be a bit more patient as he figures out the total.
Back to the list.
I think part of what I need to do is "let go" of the idea of getting everything done on the list. I may, or may not, get it all done. But, I can look for God's grace, for everything on that list, one-at-a-time, and keep plugging along. And while the list grows or shrinks I can pray for grace to remember that I wrote this blog and maybe it can help me when I forget next time. ;-)
Matt
7.26.2014
7.12.2014
Nicaragua 2014 - day 6
Last Day
Yeah, it's never fun to wake up and realize it's the last day here. All the goodbye's that have to be said and all the crying. :-( The thing that keeps me from getting too upset is the amount of progress I've seen here this week. Not our progress in what we did, but the progress God has done through this ministry over the past year. Kids are growing up and learning. Houses are being built or repaired. Young men are comign to know God and are serving Him. It really makes my heart jump to see all of it and knw that I have been a very small part of it.
The Second Step
This was about the 5th or 6th time I've been to Nicaragua now, but only the second mission trip here. This trip, to me, felt like "coming home to people I knew" this time. There was very little 'newness' to it, but there was a wonderful, day after day, expectation of who I would see and what we would be doing. It was great to - continue - the work here. I'll admit, I got really tired here this week. Probably a lot more so than even last year and I'm not sure why since we had great weather and it wasn't so hot. It might be because of "life stuff" that is going on, but who knows. It really slowed me down. In some ways that was good and in some ways that was frustrating. The good was that it gave me time to think, reflect and pray more throughout each day. I was able to slow down and not go at a breakneck pace at whatever we were doing. The bad part is that it was hard for me to get moving sometimes. I saw some of our group work like crazy all week, sweating it out and I wanted to do that 100% like they were doing (like I had before), but my strength just wasn't there this time all week. Yes, I worked hard and the sweat and dirt will take at least two cycles in the wash to get out ;-) but it was different this trip. I will say that it did allow me to be mentally present more with many of the kids, Josue and Luis. And that - was good.
Ruby's House
First thing this morning was Ruby's House. There is no way to fully explain Ruby's House to someone. It really is something to be experienced. In one sentence, it's a place where we go to pray for each other in deep and connecting ways. God moves hearts and changes lives there sometimes.
Last year I got shredded emotionally at Ruby's House. It was one of the hardest times for me spiritually that I have ever gone through. There was a lot of healing that began that day, but it took a lot of pain. I brought back with me a lot of what was prayed that day and, throughout the year, it helped me remember the healing, focus on what was to come and look forward to the future instead of fearing it.
Today was different. It was wonderful and very much what I had expected. I prayed. I prayed and prayed. For myself, my family and each person on our team. God gave wonderful insight into each person and we spoke deeply into each other's lives. There were many tears, most of which were of joy, but some were for things that had to change in their lives. It was wonderful to see more healing start. God had words for Trish too. I can't wait to tell her. :-)
And yes, I'm bringing something back from Ruby's House again. It's much different than last year and much more promising, in a 'growth' way. I'll keep those words in my heart for a long time.
The Market
After Ruby's House we went to the market. Now Huembes Market is gigantic. It must be acres and acres of small shops and stores and fruit stalls and barbers, and everything you could possibly imagine. It's a fun place to find things to bring home for everyone. I didn't expect God to do anything at the market. It's cool how God moves when we aren't even expecting it. Terry and I were checking things out at one stall and a young lady came up to see if we needed anything. She had her phone in her pocket blaring music as loud as it would go. At first I thought it was kinf of weird that she would have that while trying to talk with us. Then, suddenly, I realized I was singing along to a great Christian tune that was playing out of her pocket! :-) How fun! She heard me and asked if we were Christians. The next 5-10 minutes were me, Terry and her just talking about each other's lives; where we came from, what church we went to, etc. She shared that she loved to sing. I asked if she was part of a choir and she said that she wasn't because she was just visiting the church where she attended right now. That was about it. So, if you want a truly random encounter from Nicaragua on your prayer list to pray for, pray for that young lady, that God would give her a place to use her voice in praising Him, that she would find a church where she felt comfortable to become a member and that God would help her continue to grow. :-)
After the market we had a fast food, friend chicken lunch in an air conditioned Tip Top restaurant. :-)
Back at The Park
The funny thing is that when most groups come down here for the week they take the last day to go do something fun in Nicaragua. When our team was asked, "What do you guys want to do on the last day?" Almost the entire team said, "Go back to Los Braisiles! Be with the kids! Do skits! Build houses!" ;-) It was funny, I don't think Coburn expected that. It even seemed like there might be a bit of a logistical challenge aroudn doing that because it was on the other side of town from Ruby's House and the market. Needless to say, we DID go back. It was late afternoon, around three, and the kids were gone fmor the school, but all of our kids in the town were there and, as usual, when the van came by, the kids came out. Running around, piggy back rides, games of tag, sitting and talking, meeting more new kids. It's amazing. I look over and Kim S. has taken otu the EvangeCube again. There must be 15 kids watching and listening to the story. They look enthralled! Praise God!!! We never know how many times the message much be heard of if one of those children said something to God right then that we may never know about - but - it was shared and they heard it. I pray that God uses every word that was spoken and that He changes lives because of it!
The kids goodbye
This is why I think God will continue our (BEP) ministry here in Nicaragua. Every trip has a last day. And, every last day is hard. I was trying very hard to keep things upbeat with the kids and not let it be so serious or sad. "We would be back". "It's been a ton of fun"., etc... But, when I said, "Don't worry, there is another team coming right after ours - next week!" three of the kids rolled their eyes. It took a minute for that to register, but I asked them, "Why did you roll your eyes?". The answer was that other groups were 'different'. Now, I know that our group may not be anything amazing, but there is something very, very special about our BEP groups that come down here that even these kids see that we are diffferent. This is what I think:
- we love different, strong and full of the love of God with these kids
- we remember them and they remember us because we "KNOW" them
- we serve WITH them, not just FOR them. We come alongside them.
- we meet emotional, physical and spiritual needs when God shows them to us
- we get dirty with them and don't let anything in the way of our hugs and kisses (that was new for me this year. Hugs were always easy for me, but this year I must have kissed 100 little heads, I think I finally saw, in a very small way, why it was easy for Mother Theresa to love the horribly sick ones that she worked with. Yes, they may be contagious, but how can you help but touch and hug and kiss and love them???)
- GOD HAS CHOSEN TO BLESS US WITH - PEOPLE - NOT JUST A MISSION TRIP LOCATION
And yes, there were tears and hugs and kisses at the end. And, I'm not sure Kim Stewart has stopped crying even now. ;-) It is hard to leave them.
Debrief
The nightly debrief was good. We talked about Ruby's House, the whole trip, the kids, what we want to take back and continue (if you want to get involved - talk to Terry!!!). Our small group really connected this week. It's always cool to see how God takes such a diverse group and pulls them together. It was also really cool to see the differences in bring a small group verses a large group. The dynamics are different and things "flow" differently. I think we are all coming back (again!) with a renewed passion and a renewed perspective on many things. Please ask each one of us to talk about the trip. I think it will bless you and it will help us remember and remembering is GOOD!
That's It.
I'm sitting up in my morning spot this morning for the last time of the trip. It actually raingin and the smell is incredible. Fresh and cool. There hasn't been any rain all week and it's so good to see and feel. I'm pretty sure that I need to build a deck on top of my roof so I can have this spot at home. ;-)
We leave in about 90 minutes to go home. Time to pack, time to go through customs, etc.. We get to see family and give hugs on that side now. We head home, but part of stays behind and we feel it.
Prayer requests:
- That God would continue His work here, at BEP and in our lives.
there are a million more stories and things to tell. I can't wait to catch up with everyone.
Nos vemos pronto! ;-)
Matt
7.11.2014
Nicaragua 2014 - day 5
Good morning!
I just want to take a second to thank everyone who has prayed, supported, made dresses, provided transporatation and followed us on this trip. God used YOU in a wonderful way to get us here this week. Kids have been loved, rooms cleaned, skits done, songs sung, children clothed, people fed and prayers prayed, gardens planted because you were faithful in giving. I also appreciate your comments and posts this week. It really feels like we are connected to everyone during the week through your comments and posts.
This Journal
It's funny, I can't seem to get a solid journal time going when I am back at home, but put me in Nicaragua and I'll do this every day. I'm glad it works. I really enjoy telling everyone about tthe trip.
Done cleaning
Well, praise God, after three full shovelfulls of dirt, I am done cleaning out that work room area. What I wouldn't have done for a shop-vac! ;-) It really was wonderful to finish such a small task, but know that it would help Coburn. I know it's probably already starting to get dusty in there again today, but it's a lot better than it was. :-)
More dresses
The rest of the dresses (150 of them!) played out in two parts today. Kim was able to go through the town and give out more, which was her heart to do this trip, and the second part was that we are leaving a big stack of them with Coburn to hand out as needed. Again, I like the fact that we did immediate ministry and we are leaving behind something that can continue. We also started seeing a bunch of the little girls today in their dresses aroudn town. Now THAT was awesome!
Growing
It's wonderful how trips like this help us grow. About half our team has been here before and half have not. This is the very first mission trip for one of us. And even with the different pasts that have brough us here God still grows each of us, personally, in neat ways. The sharing during our daily "debrief time" was short at the beginning of the week. Last night it was open, honest and wonderful. People shared what God was teaching them and how He was changing their lives this week. Pulling people out of their comfot zones and showing them that they could do more than they thought. He showed some their limits, some how to rely on others and some were able to make a piece of faith their own. PLEASE ASK EVERYONE ABOUT THEIR TRIP WHEN THEY GET HOME! invite them to dinner or lunch and let them share everything with you. (It will be worth it!)
Maracas
Kim Stewart somehow figured out how to make maracas out of plastic spoons, beads and plastic Easter eggs. It was too much fun to have the kids singing and shaking them. Music is such a universal tool to bring us together. Next year I'm figuring out a way to incorporate more music into the trip. Ideas??
Tito and school
I've told you about Tito and how he is on my personal prayer list; how he really needs to be in school and has been given many chances, but has been kicked out because he won't come every day or work hard. Well, I don't know what God has in store for him, but a very small step may have occured yesterday. Every day I ask Tito if he is going to talk to Coburn (Carlos) about getting back in school. He says, "yes", but I think he is just playing the game with me. Anyway, I asked him again today and Lisette and Luis overheard a bit of the conversation. A couple of minutes later they were talking to him. I didnt hear all of what was said, but I know it was about school and I could see the wheels turning in Tito's head. I really hope he can make a go of it again and stick it out. He reminds me a lot of my daughter. Very smart, very adept at reading people, a "survivor", but lazy to a fault when they don't want to work. ;-) His intire life could hinge on whether or not he gets that 6th grade education - and it's right in his back yard every day!! I'll keep praying.
Josue
OK. Cool time with Josue today. I'll have to sum up because it would take hours to write it all down. Ask any of us later and we can give you the full story, but here is the Readers Digest version. Josue is the brand new Christian in the ministry here. His heart and passion are as big as they can get. He wants nothing more than to read God's word, pray for others and tell others about Christ every day. It's wonderful and contagious!
Kim Strader noticed today that Josue had been sitting with us for about an hour during lunch, right in the middle of everyone aned thought it was interesting because he doesn't speak a word of English, but just wanted to 'be' there with us. So, she got up, came over to him and asked me if we could pray for him and if I would translate. OF COURSE! :-) Kim asked him "What can we pray for you about?". What followed was very interesting. Josue asked that everyone would know Christ, that his family would know Christ, that the ministry would grow and reach people. All of that sounds wonderful, but something stuck in my own spirit as I translated, so told him, "That's great stuff to pray about, and we will, but what can we pray for YOU!?". Again, his requests were all external to himself. Now, I was trying to use some discernment because for me I can get wrapped aroudn the axle in praying ONLY for myself and my needs sometimes, so hearing him ask only for others really did sound like a great thing - but - there was something going on here. He couldn't ask for anything for himself in prayer. I dug deeper and kept stopping him when his requests went external each time. I said, "No, what do YOU need?", "How can we pray for YOU?" It took quite a while. We talked about how it is good to share your needs within the Christian family and pray for each other, how it is good to make your needs known. Well, he finally coughed up a single prayer for himself. That he would know God's Word, and have more wisdom and understanding. :-) Could there be a better request???
We all gathered around and a few of us took turns praying for him. Well, the water works turned on and he started crying while we were praying. My own heart started to beat for him. So, after translating for a few people I prayed myself. I felt like God was showing me that this young man was having a crisis of worth in his own life. I praed that he would be strong, that God would strengthen him, that his testimony would be the power of God to others and show them a way to God. That was it! His testimony, his past. The tears continued. After we prayed he started sharing. How he didn't want to talk about his past, he didn't want to go "back there". He didn't wan't to dwell on what "was" and only wanted to move forward. I could hear the pain in his voice about his past and it really hurt. Me, Hallie and Terry were stuck close by and began to speak into his life. Talking about how wonderful it was that he was so focused on growht and the present and future. How he wanted nothing more than "more God" in his life. But, we all chimed in that he shouldn't forget his past. That his testimony could and would be a very powerful tool for him in HIS OWN ministry and life. What was then uncovered was the fact that this young man of God had absolutely no self worth and value in himself. He felt horrible about himself and was trying desperatly to hide behind God to keep from facing his past and seeing who he now was in Christ. Well, I guess if you are going to hide, hiding behind God is the best place to do so. We werent hard on him by any stretch. We tried to love him, show him his worth as a new creature - all things new. Hopefully he will grow and see himself with new eyes - through the eyes of Christ. Please pray for Josue!
Mickey
On a lighter note, Luis got a dog. It's this cute little furball of a puppy. His name is Mickey, but some of us like the name Mika and keep calling the dog by the wrong name. ;-) It's nice because the puppy bring a smile to everyone who sees him and anything that brings a smile here is a good thing. Life can be tough! It's neat to see how God uses the little things.
Getting Well Again
Just a quick update that almost all of us down here are getting better. Coburn said last night that he is back to about 75%. He had a heck of a night though. Sick, vomiting, weak, it was really bad. Most of the rest just had one of those colds that knocks you off your feet for a day or so. But, God is good and health seems to be returning. Thanks for your prayers!
Mike and Sue
Mike and Sue Buzbee run the 'compound' here where we stay. I 'really' like Mike and Sue and had asked them if I could come by to catch up with all that had happened in my own life over the past year. Last night was our time to do that. I'm not going to go into the details because much of what I shared was really only for them, but I can tell you that sometimes it is really, really good to look back. And then, with the past clearly seen, to turn aroudn and look forward. Their encouragement was warmth to my soul and my story back to them seemed like a great encouragement as well. I think their lives must be a whirlwind at times and I wanted to let them hear about how God during Nicaragua 2013 had carried me forward to today.
Last day
Well, it's hard to believe - and a HUGE bummer, but today is our last full day. It should be a busy day though. The plan is to go to Ruby's house this morning (oh boy), to the market around lunch time and back to Los Braisilies to say goodbye to everyone in the afternoon. :-( The last day is always hard. I actually talked to Lisette a bit about it today. Asking if Monday was always wonderful as new teams acame and Friday was always hard as they left. She said it was a bit hard, but that it was also encouraging because of how many people wanted to come and help. I'm was glad for her perspective and it helps to leave a bit less sad.
Well, I'm off to breakfast (I journal for the previous day each morning in case you hadn't noticed) :-). The coffee was good again, the breeze today is great. The sun is shining. I'm nervously looking forward to Ruby's house, but also to a great time of prayer. The market is always fun. And then, all the hugs, crying and goodbye's to the kids and our friends at Los Braisiles. We are bringing this ministry home to BEP this time. I can't wait to see who we continue to partner with them THROUGHOUT the year this year. The relationships are growing and I see God working here. It's going to be fun to be a part of it!
Prayer requests:
- that our tears and sadness for leaving wouldn't hurt too much
- that the groups that come after us would hug and love twice as much as we did
- for full health for everyone, especially Coburn and his team
- for clarity of vision for Coburn as he prays about the next year
- for continued love for these kids and ministry from BEP once we return
- for Nicaragua as a whole - that God would move in this country. IT would be incredible to see a revival here
Nos Vemos Pronto!
Matt
7.10.2014
Nicaragua 2014 - day 4
Back on my feet
I felt back to full energy yesterday, which is a good thing, because Coburn's whole team is sick. Coburn, his wife Melissa, Kaite and Hallie all came down with some type of cold/nausea thing that put them on their backs. This could be really bad because they have a larger team showing up today (Thursday) and I'm not certain how they will get everything done if all four of them are sick. I would imagine that some of Coburn's family will jump in to help. They all seem to be tightly integrated at times. Please pray for them today!
The upper room
I just want to say again how much I LOVE spending each morning up here with my coffee, Bible and iPad. It's great for me to think thrpough the past day and process everything God has done. I hope you all feel more a part of what has gone on down here through these journals too.
Breakfast
I love the fact that I can come down here, eat like a horse, drink Coke, and still lose weight. I guess that's what happens when you exercise a lot every day. ;-) Yummy scrambled eggs today with fruit, toast and juice. The whole team always seems ravenous in the morning. It's kinda funny.
Back at Imagine Ministries (the school in Los Braisiles)
Today was a bit different since the gardening was mostly done. A few of the team members spent the morning finishing up some of the gardening and planting. We were able to get some good dirt and put it on top of the gardens we had already dug. It's funny, almost the entire city of Managua and surrouding area is volcanic soil which 'should' be good for growing anything. The problem is that aroud people's houses the dirt has been packed down so hard and swept every day (yes, they sweep the dirt every day) that it is almost like concrete. You have to realize and imagine what it would be like if they didn't do this. Loose dirt, dust, a rain shower and the whole country would turn into a mud puddle. Sweeping the dirt keeps the dust down. The dir being packed down so hard causes teh rain to run off faster and create less of a mess. That being said, packed dirt, for years and years, deprives the soil of nutrients. It ends up being this white, chalky dirt with very little to give. So - we found some good dirt. :-) PUtting a bit on top, and teams following up after with more when needed, should help the seeds grow well. It really is amazing that we finished so much of the manual labor so fast down here this week with such a small team. Thinking back, it's my personal opinion that God had a lot of other plans for us that I now see have come to fruition. A LOT more time with the kids. A LOT more time to hear and get to know their stories. A LOT more time to be 'a part' of the ministry and come alongside Coburn here. I see teh soccer court we finished last year and my heart jumps, but His will isn't always to do these big things. I think this year was much more of a 'connecting' year. Corburn's ministry is going to grow and change a lot over the next few years. I really think this year was a time for us, as BEP, to see, be a part of and come along side him with this work in a closer way.
sweeping
You have to understand, I really don't like cleaning. I feel like things are never actually 'clean', so it's never really done and, personally, I like being with people, so cleaning puts me away from what I really like to do. :-) But - I found my favorite thing about this week so far. Sweeping. Seriously. No, I don't have a burnign desire to go back home and sweep now though. Let me explain. We finished the gardens. We've played with kids a TON. We've done skits. We've sang songs. We've handed out dresses. It's amazing, but we have done almost everything we set out to do in the first 3-4 days of being here. And then we were done!?! Well, here was the cool part for me. I asked Coburn, "What can I do tomorrow to help you?" His answer? "Sweep off teh shelves in the tool room and sweep up the floor as well." OK, at first my heart sank. I really do hate sweeping. And, the thought of being in a room, by myself, massive amounts of dust - just sweeping - didn't really appeal to me - at first. But, the change in my heart started to happen almost immediately. I actually began to look forward to getting there and sweeping! The change was that I felt like I was truly 'helping' him and the ministry. Yes, everything else we were doing was part of his (His?) ministry and Coburn loved it, but sweeping that room outwas helping him. And helping him helped the teachers. And helping the teachers and workers helped the kids. I know this all souds so simple on paper, and many of you may be thinking "aw, isn't that sweet that he wants to clean (that ain't hard!)" ;-), but this was bigger than that. I guess I should also explain that it took about 100 sweeps in one spot to actually move the dirt in there. I should also say that every time I swept 2/3 of the dust came back over where I just swept due to a breeze. ;-) Anyway, it might not seem like a big deal, but God did good stuff with me and that broom yesterday. :-)
names
One of the things I charged the team with this week was to come away with specific names of people. Workers, kids, etc, it didn't matter as long as they made connections. It's been great to hear the names and how each of us has connected to people this week. So, here are my names.
Tito - our wonderful "player" that we met last year. I'll type up more on Tito later, but I feel like God must have something for that boy. I see the struggle and the desire for him to do good despite a tough situation that he is in.
Victor - Tito's brother. Victor is tough, hard and "plays the game". He tried to get stuff from people and who knows where it goes from there. I had a long talk with he and Tito this week. They have both been given numerous chances at the school. I'd ask you to seriously consider taking Tito and Victor as a daily prayer item. They need it.
Esaul - the sweetest little boy down here. Always has a smile. Always gives an answer to a question. My prayer is that God protects him and is heart as he grows.
Josue - Josue is new to the imagine ministry team. He is a new Christian (2 months) and is on cloud nine with his faith. It was an amazing blessing to hear his testimony and see him work and talk this week. More on Josue later.
Luis - Luis is one of the bedrock team memebrs of the ministry. He is the son of Lisette, the lady who runs the school. Luis always helps, always prays and is always available. He is becoming a man of God. Pray for him! Pray for his life, his walk and his future family. (he also has a wicked sense of sarcasm, maybe that is why he and I get along so well!) ;-)
There were many more, but these were my 'men'. Aks me when I get home and I'm certain I could fill an entire day with more info and stories. :-)
skits
Kim Strader really did an awesome job putting together a bunch of skits for us to do this week. Yesterday was "skit day". We must have done them at least four times throughout the day. IT's so cool to see how each person has been used this week. Actually, to that point, here are my thoughts. (please kjnow that each person has also done a TON more, this is just one thing for each person)
Kim Strader - the skit queen. Always helping us put it together, rounding us up to get it done. Very cool.
Samantha Strader - testimony girl. I'll say more later, but Sam got the opportunity to share her faith in a cool way. She's been a love bug with the kids all week.
Stacie Tucker - if you haven't seen Stacie on a mission trip then you can't imagine how hard someone could work. She always finds the work, is always drenched in sweat and gets things done in half the time that I could. Stacie leaves her legacy everywhere she goes.
Marianne Tucker - Marianne really got stretched this week. performing skits, physical labor, etc.. Her heart is with the kids every time they are aroud, but her own personal gifts came through in new, cool ways this year.
Joel Brandon - I'm not sure that I've seen anyone covered in more sweat this week than Joel. If anyone could give Stacie or the Dalby's a run for their money it might be Joel. It might very well be because of Joel that we got so much done so quickly! :-) His Spanish and desire to jump in with anything has been really cool.
Terry Brandon - my thinker of the week. I see Terry's wheels turning all day long. He might be working hard, helping to translate or loving kids, but his wheels are always turning. Looking to see what God is doing, what we are doing, how it can help (or not). I've appreciated his thoughts this week as we've talked.
Kim Stewart - Kim is another "machine". Doing crafts, gardening, gettign teh dresses out... Kim had a vision for what she felt God wanted her to do on this trip and she is faithfully working that out this week. And - God is blessing it!!! The fun that she has brought with the crafts for the kids has been really neat for me to be a part of.
Me - I'm trying to take deep breaths and do "whatever". Yeah, I love doing the music and the kids have been a blast to watch sing and smile. But, some of this tuff really is out of my own comfot zone and it's always good.
prayer sheet
Just really quick - we want to put together a sheet with faces, names and prayer requests for a bunch of the people down here so that otehrs at BEP can pray for them. If you don't see that sheet on the mission counter within the next few weeks please kick me. We'll get it done.
youth night
Coburn is starting a brand new partnership down here that is very important to him and the vision that God has given to him for this ministry. It involves working together, in a partnership, with one of the local churches. Last night we got to 'kick off' the first meeting between Coburn's ministry and their youth group. Remember Coburn was sick as a dog and didn't think he could make it. He was really distressed at the thought of getting this set up and then having to cancel. He asked if it would be possible for us to lead the night without him. Of course I said yes (I would ask the team later) ;-) Long story short, Coburn was well enough to show up, do introductions and a prayer - and then he crashed and went home. Our team continued with the help of Luis and Josue. We sang, prayed. had cookies and Coke and talked together. Toward the end, two really cool things happened. One, Samantha volunteered to give her testimony. Thids was the first time she had ever done this and, as usualy with this sort of thing, it was great, she was "through the roof excited" and I know God used it as it made one more connection between our group and theirs. Second, Josue, this new Christian young man, stepped up and prayed at the end of the night. Honestly, I couldn't hear what he was praying because I was behind him, but he must have prayed for five minutes straight and from the sounds coming frmo the other young people there (also praying) it must have been good. :-)
debrief
Our daily debrief was good. We each shared what God was talking to us in our devotionals and how we saw God through the day. It's fun to hear the different perspectives.
sleeping
I slept really well last night. It was cool and I was tired. I feel great today and look forward to going back. Thank you for your prayers!!
Daily prayer requests:
- that we don't run out of energy
- that everyone feels like we got enough time with the kids
- that this week becomes the "next step" in our connection here and that it isn't a a whole year before we come back (ask Terry) ;-)
- for Coburn's whole team and their health
- for Stacie - she started feeling sick yesterday and stayed back from the youth night. She is still stuffed up today, but says she is about an 8 out of 10 this morning. (I think she could use some prayer) ;-)
- for Coburn's intern Hallie. I think she leaves today to go back to the U.S. It's always hard to leave,especially when you have spent a good deal of time here. She has also been living IN Los Braisiles, so she is very clowse to Lisette, Luis and the kids. Pray that God protects her heart as she leaves.
OK - long journal day done. :-)
Nos vemos pronto!
Matt
I felt back to full energy yesterday, which is a good thing, because Coburn's whole team is sick. Coburn, his wife Melissa, Kaite and Hallie all came down with some type of cold/nausea thing that put them on their backs. This could be really bad because they have a larger team showing up today (Thursday) and I'm not certain how they will get everything done if all four of them are sick. I would imagine that some of Coburn's family will jump in to help. They all seem to be tightly integrated at times. Please pray for them today!
The upper room
I just want to say again how much I LOVE spending each morning up here with my coffee, Bible and iPad. It's great for me to think thrpough the past day and process everything God has done. I hope you all feel more a part of what has gone on down here through these journals too.
Breakfast
I love the fact that I can come down here, eat like a horse, drink Coke, and still lose weight. I guess that's what happens when you exercise a lot every day. ;-) Yummy scrambled eggs today with fruit, toast and juice. The whole team always seems ravenous in the morning. It's kinda funny.
Back at Imagine Ministries (the school in Los Braisiles)
Today was a bit different since the gardening was mostly done. A few of the team members spent the morning finishing up some of the gardening and planting. We were able to get some good dirt and put it on top of the gardens we had already dug. It's funny, almost the entire city of Managua and surrouding area is volcanic soil which 'should' be good for growing anything. The problem is that aroud people's houses the dirt has been packed down so hard and swept every day (yes, they sweep the dirt every day) that it is almost like concrete. You have to realize and imagine what it would be like if they didn't do this. Loose dirt, dust, a rain shower and the whole country would turn into a mud puddle. Sweeping the dirt keeps the dust down. The dir being packed down so hard causes teh rain to run off faster and create less of a mess. That being said, packed dirt, for years and years, deprives the soil of nutrients. It ends up being this white, chalky dirt with very little to give. So - we found some good dirt. :-) PUtting a bit on top, and teams following up after with more when needed, should help the seeds grow well. It really is amazing that we finished so much of the manual labor so fast down here this week with such a small team. Thinking back, it's my personal opinion that God had a lot of other plans for us that I now see have come to fruition. A LOT more time with the kids. A LOT more time to hear and get to know their stories. A LOT more time to be 'a part' of the ministry and come alongside Coburn here. I see teh soccer court we finished last year and my heart jumps, but His will isn't always to do these big things. I think this year was much more of a 'connecting' year. Corburn's ministry is going to grow and change a lot over the next few years. I really think this year was a time for us, as BEP, to see, be a part of and come along side him with this work in a closer way.
sweeping
You have to understand, I really don't like cleaning. I feel like things are never actually 'clean', so it's never really done and, personally, I like being with people, so cleaning puts me away from what I really like to do. :-) But - I found my favorite thing about this week so far. Sweeping. Seriously. No, I don't have a burnign desire to go back home and sweep now though. Let me explain. We finished the gardens. We've played with kids a TON. We've done skits. We've sang songs. We've handed out dresses. It's amazing, but we have done almost everything we set out to do in the first 3-4 days of being here. And then we were done!?! Well, here was the cool part for me. I asked Coburn, "What can I do tomorrow to help you?" His answer? "Sweep off teh shelves in the tool room and sweep up the floor as well." OK, at first my heart sank. I really do hate sweeping. And, the thought of being in a room, by myself, massive amounts of dust - just sweeping - didn't really appeal to me - at first. But, the change in my heart started to happen almost immediately. I actually began to look forward to getting there and sweeping! The change was that I felt like I was truly 'helping' him and the ministry. Yes, everything else we were doing was part of his (His?) ministry and Coburn loved it, but sweeping that room outwas helping him. And helping him helped the teachers. And helping the teachers and workers helped the kids. I know this all souds so simple on paper, and many of you may be thinking "aw, isn't that sweet that he wants to clean (that ain't hard!)" ;-), but this was bigger than that. I guess I should also explain that it took about 100 sweeps in one spot to actually move the dirt in there. I should also say that every time I swept 2/3 of the dust came back over where I just swept due to a breeze. ;-) Anyway, it might not seem like a big deal, but God did good stuff with me and that broom yesterday. :-)
names
One of the things I charged the team with this week was to come away with specific names of people. Workers, kids, etc, it didn't matter as long as they made connections. It's been great to hear the names and how each of us has connected to people this week. So, here are my names.
Tito - our wonderful "player" that we met last year. I'll type up more on Tito later, but I feel like God must have something for that boy. I see the struggle and the desire for him to do good despite a tough situation that he is in.
Victor - Tito's brother. Victor is tough, hard and "plays the game". He tried to get stuff from people and who knows where it goes from there. I had a long talk with he and Tito this week. They have both been given numerous chances at the school. I'd ask you to seriously consider taking Tito and Victor as a daily prayer item. They need it.
Esaul - the sweetest little boy down here. Always has a smile. Always gives an answer to a question. My prayer is that God protects him and is heart as he grows.
Josue - Josue is new to the imagine ministry team. He is a new Christian (2 months) and is on cloud nine with his faith. It was an amazing blessing to hear his testimony and see him work and talk this week. More on Josue later.
Luis - Luis is one of the bedrock team memebrs of the ministry. He is the son of Lisette, the lady who runs the school. Luis always helps, always prays and is always available. He is becoming a man of God. Pray for him! Pray for his life, his walk and his future family. (he also has a wicked sense of sarcasm, maybe that is why he and I get along so well!) ;-)
There were many more, but these were my 'men'. Aks me when I get home and I'm certain I could fill an entire day with more info and stories. :-)
skits
Kim Strader really did an awesome job putting together a bunch of skits for us to do this week. Yesterday was "skit day". We must have done them at least four times throughout the day. IT's so cool to see how each person has been used this week. Actually, to that point, here are my thoughts. (please kjnow that each person has also done a TON more, this is just one thing for each person)
Kim Strader - the skit queen. Always helping us put it together, rounding us up to get it done. Very cool.
Samantha Strader - testimony girl. I'll say more later, but Sam got the opportunity to share her faith in a cool way. She's been a love bug with the kids all week.
Stacie Tucker - if you haven't seen Stacie on a mission trip then you can't imagine how hard someone could work. She always finds the work, is always drenched in sweat and gets things done in half the time that I could. Stacie leaves her legacy everywhere she goes.
Marianne Tucker - Marianne really got stretched this week. performing skits, physical labor, etc.. Her heart is with the kids every time they are aroud, but her own personal gifts came through in new, cool ways this year.
Joel Brandon - I'm not sure that I've seen anyone covered in more sweat this week than Joel. If anyone could give Stacie or the Dalby's a run for their money it might be Joel. It might very well be because of Joel that we got so much done so quickly! :-) His Spanish and desire to jump in with anything has been really cool.
Terry Brandon - my thinker of the week. I see Terry's wheels turning all day long. He might be working hard, helping to translate or loving kids, but his wheels are always turning. Looking to see what God is doing, what we are doing, how it can help (or not). I've appreciated his thoughts this week as we've talked.
Kim Stewart - Kim is another "machine". Doing crafts, gardening, gettign teh dresses out... Kim had a vision for what she felt God wanted her to do on this trip and she is faithfully working that out this week. And - God is blessing it!!! The fun that she has brought with the crafts for the kids has been really neat for me to be a part of.
Me - I'm trying to take deep breaths and do "whatever". Yeah, I love doing the music and the kids have been a blast to watch sing and smile. But, some of this tuff really is out of my own comfot zone and it's always good.
prayer sheet
Just really quick - we want to put together a sheet with faces, names and prayer requests for a bunch of the people down here so that otehrs at BEP can pray for them. If you don't see that sheet on the mission counter within the next few weeks please kick me. We'll get it done.
youth night
Coburn is starting a brand new partnership down here that is very important to him and the vision that God has given to him for this ministry. It involves working together, in a partnership, with one of the local churches. Last night we got to 'kick off' the first meeting between Coburn's ministry and their youth group. Remember Coburn was sick as a dog and didn't think he could make it. He was really distressed at the thought of getting this set up and then having to cancel. He asked if it would be possible for us to lead the night without him. Of course I said yes (I would ask the team later) ;-) Long story short, Coburn was well enough to show up, do introductions and a prayer - and then he crashed and went home. Our team continued with the help of Luis and Josue. We sang, prayed. had cookies and Coke and talked together. Toward the end, two really cool things happened. One, Samantha volunteered to give her testimony. Thids was the first time she had ever done this and, as usualy with this sort of thing, it was great, she was "through the roof excited" and I know God used it as it made one more connection between our group and theirs. Second, Josue, this new Christian young man, stepped up and prayed at the end of the night. Honestly, I couldn't hear what he was praying because I was behind him, but he must have prayed for five minutes straight and from the sounds coming frmo the other young people there (also praying) it must have been good. :-)
debrief
Our daily debrief was good. We each shared what God was talking to us in our devotionals and how we saw God through the day. It's fun to hear the different perspectives.
sleeping
I slept really well last night. It was cool and I was tired. I feel great today and look forward to going back. Thank you for your prayers!!
Daily prayer requests:
- that we don't run out of energy
- that everyone feels like we got enough time with the kids
- that this week becomes the "next step" in our connection here and that it isn't a a whole year before we come back (ask Terry) ;-)
- for Coburn's whole team and their health
- for Stacie - she started feeling sick yesterday and stayed back from the youth night. She is still stuffed up today, but says she is about an 8 out of 10 this morning. (I think she could use some prayer) ;-)
- for Coburn's intern Hallie. I think she leaves today to go back to the U.S. It's always hard to leave,especially when you have spent a good deal of time here. She has also been living IN Los Braisiles, so she is very clowse to Lisette, Luis and the kids. Pray that God protects her heart as she leaves.
OK - long journal day done. :-)
Nos vemos pronto!
Matt
7.09.2014
Nicaragua 2014 - day 3
Tired
My energy got sapped yesterday. I didn't really know it until we got back for dinner. I started feeling really sleepy and hot. Yes, I forgot to put on sunscreen in the morning and that didnt help at all. I was a bit overheated too and had trouble getting cool. The plan that night was to have Melissa, Coburn's wife talk to us about the kids in the town, how they grow up, what challenges they face, etc. I made it through about 3/4 of the talk and then had to go find somewhere cool to rest. A nice hammock chair for about 30 minutes and I was feeling much better. And yes, I am feeling better this morning too.
All the gardens are in!
It's hard to belive, but all three of teh gardens are in and planted. I think I should probably just stay here for the next 45-100 days to make sure the plants grow. ;-) They really look good and should do well. I hope they provide 'something' for each of the families/groups involved. It's weird to think that our project for the week is done already. Fortunately, Coburn has no lack of need down here. We will be working on the school grounds to help with other projects for the next few days. It's actually really cool to be working for Coburn, doing the exact things he needs done. It feels like we are doing work that is coming alongside him directly and supporting a ministry that is meeting the daily needs of these kids and moving them toweard a better future.
The Park!!!
We finally made it back to the park where we did most of our work last year. I thought Kim might explode if we didn't get back there soon. :-) We were walking along the way, heading toward the site of the future Los Braisiles church first. On the way, Kim foud Wilma. Now for those who don't know, Kim likes to cry. :-) But, seeing this girl that she had invested in last year come out was beautiful. I think their hug lasted minutes and yes, there was crying. :-) I think there was a magnet that kept them attached together for the rest of the day. PRAISE GOD for continuing these relationships! Now the kids and memories started coming back like a flood.
As we roudned the corner I saw alarge, open-walled structure with a roof. This was the new church structure being built in the town! But - something was messing with my head about it. Something in my brain wasn't seeing it right. Then it clicked. We were standing on the field where me and a bunch of boys had played soccer last year. This was on the outskirts of the main town. To teh right was the huge tree where the kids climbed and I sat at the bottoma and talked with them. And now, right where our kids had played with theirs, was the beginning of a church. Too cool!! Coburn prayed in Spanish with us and a bunch of the kids. I think it was probably great for the kids to hear the passionate prayer for this church. It gives them a sense of the weight of what God is doing and hopefully sparks their own curiosity to see what is happening there.
Church
I learned something interesting yesterday that I wanted to share. Many of the churches down here have a very different view abotu church attendance. Many churches actually have services every day. Full services of some sort or another. And, while this may sound really cool at first, the problem is that many of these churches have made religion into an idol. People who don't attend "enough services" throughout the week may be looked down on. People who do not go to every service may be seen as not having enough "passion or faith" or even really love God at all. It's sad to think that the one thing that can bring peace and healing to so many can also become a place of pride, arrogance and idolotry. Please pray as Coburn works with a local pastor to try and change this mindset into something good and healthy. His heart is to see these people love God, love their families and love each other - with balance. If they desire to have church 7 days a week and it isn't just their own pride - then praise God! But, the hope is to help the pastor and community grow and mature into strong families and communities. This is real stuff!!
The soccer court
OK yes, I almost teared up too when I saw the soccer court. We put a lot of work into the 1/4 or 1/3 that we completed. I was beautiful! When we rounded teh corner the first thing I saw were kids playing soccer, riding bikes, sitting and playing on the large, flat cement platform. "We want to build something in the center of town that will be a draw to everyone and bring the community together." That was the vision Coburn had. And now, it was a reality. It had soccer goal posts and basketball hoops and everything. I know our lives are like the grass that withers and fades - but, thank you God for letting us be a part of something here that may make a lasting difefrence while the grass grows. May it bring family and community together. May it bless them. May it be a testament to You that so many came and laboured on it for them. Lord, use it!
Esaul, Tito, Dylan, Fernando, Victor, Fernanda...
Piggy back rides, bouncing them on my knee, playing tag, poking and tickling. I swear I was made to do this with these kids. :-) You never know their full story. For all I know this may be the only hug this kid gets in months. OR - I may be continuing the love that they are getting at home. Either way, it's all goodness. They smile and laugh and play. I think that moment when all the kids came to Christ must have been one of the most wonderful times of His ministry. I know He used it to teach those around Him, but I can't help but think that He just basked in the fun love of those kids. He knew them, their hearts, their lives. His heart must have been wanting to explode to hold them and play with them. I wonder if those were teh faces He thought about when the worst pain and agony was before Him. The fact that He was providing a way for those smiles to last, for peace to last, for hope to last - and for a way for them to be with HIm again one day. Yeah, yeah, pure speculation, but boy would it make sense to me after spending a day with these kids here. :-)
Dresses
I'll have to get you to talk to Kim and the others when they get back, but a bunch of dresses were passed out yesterday too, to the "littles" as Kim calls them. The littlest ones. I even saw one little girl later holding the dress up in front of her clothes to show us that she had it there with her. :-) So pretty, so wonderful. Thank you to everyone who helped with these dresses. It may not seem like much in a town of such poverty, ruin and hardship, but you cannot put a price on the smile of a little girl who, when presented with a new, beautiful dress, sees herself as pretty. God can use a dress, a plate of food, a garden - ANYTHING - to redeem what is broken and make it His, make it good, make it right again. I can't wait to see what happens with the rest of the dresses! :-) I also found out that someone I know and met, Chris Bagwell, who runs an orphanage for infants, will most likely be getting the baby blankets. The ministry that Chris is runnign has become very respected in the city and in the local goverment. God is blessing it and using it. It's great to think that these small gifts will be used in a big way!
Dinner, Melissa, crash...
Honestly, the rest of the night was mostly a blur for me. I was tired, hot and out of it. I know we had good spagetti and Melissa (and Katie) gave us some good info to think about concerning the kids, but I wasn't all there. :-( I feel better today and hope it goes much differently tonight.
Prayer requests:
- (selfishly) for me, for energy today as I get back into it
- that the dresses would go out to the right kids and be a blessing
- that we would see the blessing of coming alongside Coburn today in His work
- that we would each bring back some names, people we can pray for and connect and reconnect with in this ministry
- for Josue, who works with Coburn. He is a new Christian and needs a mentor and encouragement.
- for Luis. He continues to mature and grow, but I see a bit of frustration in his eyes. He has been to teh states and has seen some of the "bigger picture" now. Prayer that God will give him peace in his heart about where he is and what he is doing. He is such a great kid.
- for Coburn as they pray and plan their vision and ministry for the next 1-5 years. Big possibilities.
Que Dios les bendigan!
Nos vemos pronto!
Matt
My energy got sapped yesterday. I didn't really know it until we got back for dinner. I started feeling really sleepy and hot. Yes, I forgot to put on sunscreen in the morning and that didnt help at all. I was a bit overheated too and had trouble getting cool. The plan that night was to have Melissa, Coburn's wife talk to us about the kids in the town, how they grow up, what challenges they face, etc. I made it through about 3/4 of the talk and then had to go find somewhere cool to rest. A nice hammock chair for about 30 minutes and I was feeling much better. And yes, I am feeling better this morning too.
All the gardens are in!
It's hard to belive, but all three of teh gardens are in and planted. I think I should probably just stay here for the next 45-100 days to make sure the plants grow. ;-) They really look good and should do well. I hope they provide 'something' for each of the families/groups involved. It's weird to think that our project for the week is done already. Fortunately, Coburn has no lack of need down here. We will be working on the school grounds to help with other projects for the next few days. It's actually really cool to be working for Coburn, doing the exact things he needs done. It feels like we are doing work that is coming alongside him directly and supporting a ministry that is meeting the daily needs of these kids and moving them toweard a better future.
The Park!!!
We finally made it back to the park where we did most of our work last year. I thought Kim might explode if we didn't get back there soon. :-) We were walking along the way, heading toward the site of the future Los Braisiles church first. On the way, Kim foud Wilma. Now for those who don't know, Kim likes to cry. :-) But, seeing this girl that she had invested in last year come out was beautiful. I think their hug lasted minutes and yes, there was crying. :-) I think there was a magnet that kept them attached together for the rest of the day. PRAISE GOD for continuing these relationships! Now the kids and memories started coming back like a flood.
As we roudned the corner I saw alarge, open-walled structure with a roof. This was the new church structure being built in the town! But - something was messing with my head about it. Something in my brain wasn't seeing it right. Then it clicked. We were standing on the field where me and a bunch of boys had played soccer last year. This was on the outskirts of the main town. To teh right was the huge tree where the kids climbed and I sat at the bottoma and talked with them. And now, right where our kids had played with theirs, was the beginning of a church. Too cool!! Coburn prayed in Spanish with us and a bunch of the kids. I think it was probably great for the kids to hear the passionate prayer for this church. It gives them a sense of the weight of what God is doing and hopefully sparks their own curiosity to see what is happening there.
Church
I learned something interesting yesterday that I wanted to share. Many of the churches down here have a very different view abotu church attendance. Many churches actually have services every day. Full services of some sort or another. And, while this may sound really cool at first, the problem is that many of these churches have made religion into an idol. People who don't attend "enough services" throughout the week may be looked down on. People who do not go to every service may be seen as not having enough "passion or faith" or even really love God at all. It's sad to think that the one thing that can bring peace and healing to so many can also become a place of pride, arrogance and idolotry. Please pray as Coburn works with a local pastor to try and change this mindset into something good and healthy. His heart is to see these people love God, love their families and love each other - with balance. If they desire to have church 7 days a week and it isn't just their own pride - then praise God! But, the hope is to help the pastor and community grow and mature into strong families and communities. This is real stuff!!
The soccer court
OK yes, I almost teared up too when I saw the soccer court. We put a lot of work into the 1/4 or 1/3 that we completed. I was beautiful! When we rounded teh corner the first thing I saw were kids playing soccer, riding bikes, sitting and playing on the large, flat cement platform. "We want to build something in the center of town that will be a draw to everyone and bring the community together." That was the vision Coburn had. And now, it was a reality. It had soccer goal posts and basketball hoops and everything. I know our lives are like the grass that withers and fades - but, thank you God for letting us be a part of something here that may make a lasting difefrence while the grass grows. May it bring family and community together. May it bless them. May it be a testament to You that so many came and laboured on it for them. Lord, use it!
Esaul, Tito, Dylan, Fernando, Victor, Fernanda...
Piggy back rides, bouncing them on my knee, playing tag, poking and tickling. I swear I was made to do this with these kids. :-) You never know their full story. For all I know this may be the only hug this kid gets in months. OR - I may be continuing the love that they are getting at home. Either way, it's all goodness. They smile and laugh and play. I think that moment when all the kids came to Christ must have been one of the most wonderful times of His ministry. I know He used it to teach those around Him, but I can't help but think that He just basked in the fun love of those kids. He knew them, their hearts, their lives. His heart must have been wanting to explode to hold them and play with them. I wonder if those were teh faces He thought about when the worst pain and agony was before Him. The fact that He was providing a way for those smiles to last, for peace to last, for hope to last - and for a way for them to be with HIm again one day. Yeah, yeah, pure speculation, but boy would it make sense to me after spending a day with these kids here. :-)
Dresses
I'll have to get you to talk to Kim and the others when they get back, but a bunch of dresses were passed out yesterday too, to the "littles" as Kim calls them. The littlest ones. I even saw one little girl later holding the dress up in front of her clothes to show us that she had it there with her. :-) So pretty, so wonderful. Thank you to everyone who helped with these dresses. It may not seem like much in a town of such poverty, ruin and hardship, but you cannot put a price on the smile of a little girl who, when presented with a new, beautiful dress, sees herself as pretty. God can use a dress, a plate of food, a garden - ANYTHING - to redeem what is broken and make it His, make it good, make it right again. I can't wait to see what happens with the rest of the dresses! :-) I also found out that someone I know and met, Chris Bagwell, who runs an orphanage for infants, will most likely be getting the baby blankets. The ministry that Chris is runnign has become very respected in the city and in the local goverment. God is blessing it and using it. It's great to think that these small gifts will be used in a big way!
Dinner, Melissa, crash...
Honestly, the rest of the night was mostly a blur for me. I was tired, hot and out of it. I know we had good spagetti and Melissa (and Katie) gave us some good info to think about concerning the kids, but I wasn't all there. :-( I feel better today and hope it goes much differently tonight.
Prayer requests:
- (selfishly) for me, for energy today as I get back into it
- that the dresses would go out to the right kids and be a blessing
- that we would see the blessing of coming alongside Coburn today in His work
- that we would each bring back some names, people we can pray for and connect and reconnect with in this ministry
- for Josue, who works with Coburn. He is a new Christian and needs a mentor and encouragement.
- for Luis. He continues to mature and grow, but I see a bit of frustration in his eyes. He has been to teh states and has seen some of the "bigger picture" now. Prayer that God will give him peace in his heart about where he is and what he is doing. He is such a great kid.
- for Coburn as they pray and plan their vision and ministry for the next 1-5 years. Big possibilities.
Que Dios les bendigan!
Nos vemos pronto!
Matt
7.08.2014
Nicaragua 2014 - day 2
At the end of the day, they looked really good. I'd never have imagined we would have gotten so far in one day. The gardens are coming together!
Our first full day here has been incredible! We have such a great mix of people on the teakm this year. It's much smaller team than last year and that makes it much more flexible and agile to get things done.
morning...
My day started where I will start ever day this week; up on the upper room balcony. Headphones in with some great music (to block out the roosters, birds, horses, Shofar, people, dogs, car horns, etc... You wouldn't inagine it could get so noisy in the jungle, but mornings are pretty busy. 2 Cor 4:5-13 was the passage for today.. read it. No seriously, go read it and then come back.
You back?
The two words that stuck out to me were "not" and "life". All the things we are not. not crushed, driven to despair, forsaken or destroyed. But we are persecuted in every way - SO THAT - - - L I F E.
LIFE
LIFE
The life of Christ would be manifest in our bodies!
What life? Well, how about the joy, hope, peace, patience, long-suffering; all the fruits of the spirit? Persecuted in every way so that we may have life. hmmmm... that's a lot to think about.
breakfast
Huevos rancheros, hot sauce - need I say more? Yes, it was a two cup of coffee morning, but it was a good one. :-)
On the bus
We all loaded onto the bus. Franklin! Our driver and friend from last year is still here to help us. Franklin is a gentle, giving and serving man that works for teh Buzbee family (the family that owns the property where we are staying). Then Chachi, Brinson, Coburn, Mike, Sue and others. It's so good to give hugs to all these people! I know them. I have prayed with them and for them. I have heard some of their struggles. I have heard their hearts. And here they are, still, faithfully serving a town, people, community, city and country, in very practical ways, to bring glory to God. And we haven't even hardly started our day. :-)
A couple of us went to the store for some food logistics and the rest of us went over to the school in the town of los Braisiles. That first trip over its always cool. For the new people, they get a taste of the city "outside of the bigger part of Managua". They see a lot more of the poverty and what must be the daily struggle. For those that have been here it is a building excitement as familiar things whoosh past and the idea that we are going to back with the people that we met, loved and helped before are goign to be there again. Either way, day one is big. A million questions flood our minds. What are we going to do? How are we going to do it? Who will we see? Will all teh same people be there? How 'exactly' do I do something that will make a lasting impression here and not just fade away after I am gone this week?
On site
All the colorful hands. The work that another team did to paint the outside of the school. The bright colors on the wall almost scream out that this is something different in a country and small villiage that is so down trodden and hard. But - right when we pull up I see familiar faces! Ladies and kids frmo the town that I met last year. Teachers in the school. Lisette! New faces too. New interns from the states that are here to help. All smiles, all warm. Kids are learning, some are up in someones arms, some are playing on teh playground, some are watching us as we get off the bus. Boy, do I love this place!
I take minute to wander around and get my bearings again. A lot has changed. Areas that were dirt before are now paved and covered with classrooms. Areas that were just overgrown are now large pavillions with tables and places to sit. More playground stuff for the kids to play on. The ministry is growing. God is blessing this. He is still here and this works continues. It's so good.
Planning and starting
As we all get here and start settling in we begin the planning of what we want to do this week. One of the big plans is to set up small "jardines familiares" or family gardens. They would be equivalent to back yard raised gardens for planting fruits and vegetables. Probably 10' x 4' or a bit larger. The thinking is to help provide a small, but sustainable food source. These aren't going to feed a famlity, but, if they work and are kept up, and the families like them, then maybe they decide to plant parger gardens that really COULD provide larger amounts of food to help. The second reason is to help them learn another skill that they could possibly use in the future to help provide for their families
The second, and most fun thing, that we plan on doing is having a time with the kids as a group to do some skits, Bible verses and music. Last year we did all this in the park. It was a blast and we had a great time, but to say that it was 'controlled chaos' would be an understatement. This year it looks like we are going to do this with the kids in the school (at least at first). So, we plan a bit and we will see what happens. It's all about flexibility down here.
3 gardens
The plan is now to set up three gardens. One on the school grounds, one for a local Christian family and one for Lisette (who runs the school). Each place has been chosen for a reason. The school garden because others can come after us and help care for it. Lisette because it may give her another source of income and/or food. And the local family because Coburn (who runs iagine ministries here) says they are a faithful, three-generation family that he likes to help because of their own heart and faithfulness. OK - LETS DO IT!
Digging, buckets of water, digging, turning the soil, buying huge block for borders, setting them in place, planting seeds, sweating, laughing, talking with everyone and getting caught up, eating lunch, and more digging.
That pretty much sums up the first half of the day. THE FIRST HALF! We got the school garden DONE on the first day!?! Lisette's garden is started and the familie's garden is also about half way. That's a LOT more progress than I would have ever expected on day one. It was great to see some fruits of our labors so quickly. I think the gardens are going to do well.
Time with the kids
This is always the fun part. There were probably 30-40 kids today. They all had their cute school uniforms on and were sitting in the pavillion waiting to see what we were going to do. Many of us had already played with them a bit, but I'm not sure they really understood why we were there or what was going on with our team. They probably see hundreds of people each year come through. I would assume many of the teams do things with the kids and some do not. WE DO!!! The skit was great, they watched as Samuel heard God's voice and Eli had to teach Samuel how to listen to God. They read a verse with us and learned the one verse we will be doing throughout the week. We sang songs and clapped and laughed and had kids on our laps and played some more. It was wonderful. Could there be anything more lasting to leave behind than hugs, love and caring for each other? I don't think so.
Tito and Victor
I have to admit that I strayed off frmo the group a few times today. My heart is always with the kids, so I found myself sitting on the ground playing or at a table playing with kids frmo time to time throughout the day. I remember a lot of the kids from the school by face, but I knew many of the kids from the town bercause we had gone to the park to work the previous year. I really wanted to see some of those faces as well.
All I could see was two legs dangling over the top of the wall aroudn the school. The roof obstructed his face, so I didn't knwo what kid was up there until I asked someone if I should go help him down. They said yes, so I walked over. TITO! McCheyne, Tito was my first non-school kid to meet up with! :-) His impish little grin and fun personality were still the same. I immediately grabbed the guitar and he strummed it with me for at least five minutes before letting his brother, Victor, have a go. Finally, I have a dirty, ragged, unbathed little boy on my lap - and I am ecstatic! :-) He and I go back and forth teasing and playing for the next hour. We build things with Jenga blocks and knock each other's towers over. Laughing and giggling. Dear Lord, please pave a way for Tito. Let his life mean something good and grab his heart. Let the music that I hear in him find a way out. Protect him from the multitude of bad and harmful things here.
This is a long journal today. As John Cavalaro says "we really sucked the marrow out of the day today, huh?" I'll sum up the rest.
So, what did you do for the rest of the day? Oh, I don't know, walked around an active volcano belching sulfer smoke, walked in a lava tube hundreds of feet under ground, had bats flying all around us, you know, the usual. ;-) That was a blast for an unexpected "field trip". Later we ate dinner at a great restaurant and spent time as a team. We took a few minutes later back at base camp to debrief about the day and then we CRASHED. I doubt anyone took more than about 2 inutes to fall asleep.
I'm finishing this journal the next morning because I was too tired to do it last night. If yesterday was a two cup of coffee day, today might be a three. :-/ Lord, some extra energy today would be helpful. So, we will go back, dig some more, plant some more, play some more and just "be here" some more. I would say that the big thing on our hearts today is to go back to the park, see the soccer platform that we started and is not complete, see our other kids and families and reconnect with the town again.
Prayers:
- that we would be able to go back to the park and see everyone
- for energy as we get tired
- for patience if things start to move slowly (as they often do)
- for eyes and hearts to see the lasting things we can do here this week
- that our group would find wonderful time for their own devotions this week and that we would hear from God in personal ways
Thanks everyone!
Nos vemos pronto!
Matt
7.06.2014
Nicaragua 2014 - day1
Day 1
3:30 came very early this morning. I got up and the dog looked at me like I was crazy. I glanced over to the coffee maker and my stomach told me it wasn;t quite ready for any stimulants either.
I stumbled around, grabbed my backpack, holding everything I would need for the week, clothes, work gloves, headlamp, Bible and journal, and of course, my ipad. ;-)
I sat at the top of the steps petting the dog who finally mistered the energy to come say hi while I waited for a few more team mates to stop by and pick me up to head to BWI. A few minutes later and the truck was puilling into the driveway. I always think it's funny to see who is and who isn't a morning person. Between the six of us in the truck I would say that we had two VERY morning people, two who weren't sure about this whole early morning thing (including me) and two who were most definitely not morning people. We all said hi and started talking excitedly about the trip and getting on the flight.
Everone was ready to go.
We got to the airport and hardly ran into any lines at all. Things moved smoothly and quickly. It was fun to see a Boy Scout tropp being wrangled by their scout master as he tried despeartely to get some semblance of order to what they were doing. Boys wandered this way and that. Some were paying attention and some didnt even seem to know they were in an airport. The most humorous thing was that the scout master would call them up, one at a time, to check in. When he called, each boy had some sort of nickname. Bass-o-matic, Sketchy, Sprints, etc.. it made me smilt to think that these men were invested in their lives enough to have given them these names. My thought was, "I hope I come back with as many names as they had.". :-)
Dunkin Donuts, coffee, checking tickets, and starting to wake up. Terry said he had something for me and handed me a medium sized manila envelope. I opened the envelope and a flood of memories came rushing back. Inside was a huge stack of photos from last year. Kids playing, families we prayed for and with, smiles and new dresses and seeing faces I knew and had met. Many of the kids I had personally played with, talked to and worked with as we built the cement soccer court last summer. It was great for me to see these faces and lives and reconnect before I even got on the plane. - God, please give me the strength, love and energy this week to be there for these wonderful friends in whatever way they need.
Half way through the stack they started boarding the plane. We all scrambled to get in line so we could "hurry up and wait". It's wonderful to hear Kim and Kim, a few rows back, giggling and having fun. I look forward to working alongside new and old faces this week. I know God will use us - even if it's just to sit in the dirt, listen to stories and let the kids climb all over us while we hug and play. :-)
Next is the layover in Houston and then on to Managua.
I still get a bit nervous coming back. It was quite an ordeal when we adopted Sarahi almost 5 years ago from there. I know things always change and I know I am not going back into that sale situation, but the memories, stress, fun, challenges and anxiety do still come back mentally. I look forward to the day when we can come back as a family and visit the country together, without stress, and see the beauty, the land and the people together.
We will be staying the Buzbee "compound". Buzbee is their last name. The wonderful family that does ministry down there, hosts numerous teams on their property as a kind of "home base", feeds us, gives us an oasis at the end of each day, and takes us to Ruby's House.... ah yes, Ruby's House.
I'm going back to a place that quite literally tore me apart spiritually last year. It's a long story (ask me some time), but I can tell you this, God met me in a big way there. I cried and sobbed and cried some more as those aroudn me on my team and frmo teh Buzbee family prayed over me. The sticking point was something the Mike Buzbee said in his prayer. "You've been going through a desert for a long time, dry, hard and barren. But up ahead I see a lush forest, green and teeming with life. A place of growth and rest and peace." Quite honestly, it had been a horrific year, tough in all ways, job, life, family, ministry and spiritually. What I could have never forseen was what God really was going to do with me over the next twelve months. To sum up, I would say that He has brought me to a place, with Him, that I have never been before. It's a bit scary because of how new it is and all the Sunday school answers just don't suffice anymore. It's a place where I see things more clearly. I see Him, step by step, more clearly and I've come to see and know Him in all of His BIGNESS in a way I had never known - in my life. So, what does Ruby's House hold for me this year? It may be nothing more than a wonderful time of prayer, but I guess we never know. God does what He will do and we see it when it happens, right? One thing is for sure, I am looking forward to it. I know I brought back some of Ruby's House into my own house and life over the past year.
And the food.
Yeah, I'm a big fan of Nica food. I really like it. Beans, rice, chicken. It's wonderful.
The rooftop.
The best thing daily for me was the rooftop mornings. The Buzbee's have a building with two levels. On top ov teh second level is a covered rooftop area that overlooks the surrounding jungle. Morning coffee with my Bible, journal, (and sometimes headphones) watching the sunrise and taking time to "breathe" was wonderful. I can't wait.
The soccer court?
I'm really interested to see what has happened with the soccer court. My heart skips a beat when I think taht I might see kids playing on it when we get there. The whole purpose was to try and build soemthing that would be a central part of their community and draw them together. Life is really tough for many of them. Anything that might help them come together and help each other would be a great thing to see.
I think that's about it for now. Please feel free to comment or ask questions. I'm glad to reply back. :-) I'll be doing daily updates, probably early morning or later at night.
Thanks to everyone for your help, support and prayers.
Please pray for:
- patience when we get there. That we would wait and find the best way we can help while we are here.
- health. That no one would get sick.
- The heat. That we would all stay hydrated and keep our energy up.
- For quiet. That we would be still and quiet - a lot - and let the people talk, so we can listen and become a part of their families.
- That God would use this trip to continue building our BEP-Los Braisiles connection and that we would leave something that lasts and bring something home that continues.
Que Dios les bendigan! Nos vemos pronto!!
6.27.2014
The TNTV Bible!
I'm writing a version of the Bible!!
Yes, the whole thing.
So - I'm starting a new project online. I had this thought about a year and a half ago and never did it. I'm writing a Twitter version of the Bible. All 66 books in 140 characters each. Another group wrote the "Twitter Bible" by summarizing each chapter. I'm going even farther and summarizing each book. Yes, the short paraphrase is enough to make even Eugene Peterson squirm, but it's more for me than anything. I'm looking to capture the 'very' basic essence of each book as best I can. No, I am not a theologian. No, I have not been to seminary. But, I have the Word of God and more resources than I can ever being to use to accomplish this.
I haven't set an official timeline, but I'm hoping to do about one a week. Look for updates on my Twitter feed @mattdivens or on my bloghttp://mybrokenworship.blogspot.com/ or here.
So with that, I begin The New Twitter Version TNTV of the Bible.
Genesis - https://twitter.com/MattDivens/status/482517854223233027
Yes, the whole thing.
So - I'm starting a new project online. I had this thought about a year and a half ago and never did it. I'm writing a Twitter version of the Bible. All 66 books in 140 characters each. Another group wrote the "Twitter Bible" by summarizing each chapter. I'm going even farther and summarizing each book. Yes, the short paraphrase is enough to make even Eugene Peterson squirm, but it's more for me than anything. I'm looking to capture the 'very' basic essence of each book as best I can. No, I am not a theologian. No, I have not been to seminary. But, I have the Word of God and more resources than I can ever being to use to accomplish this.
I haven't set an official timeline, but I'm hoping to do about one a week. Look for updates on my Twitter feed @mattdivens or on my bloghttp://mybrokenworship.blogspot.com/ or here.
So with that, I begin The New Twitter Version TNTV of the Bible.
Genesis - https://twitter.com/MattDivens/status/482517854223233027
6.05.2014
24 Things I Wish North American Short-Term Missionaries Would Start Doing…
"24 Things World Christians Wish North American Short-Term Missionaries Would Quit Doing…".
The premise is that many of us going on short-term missions are missing mark and possibly even doing more harm than good. While I do not argue many of the points they raise and all of us should be cognizant of our hearts and actions, my own heart ached a bit at this list of "don'ts".
In my own life I find things much easier to attain if I am working 'toward' something instead of trying to get away from something. So, in conjunction with the previously mentioned article, I came up with this:
24 Things I Wish North American Short-Term Missionaries Would Start Doing… :-)
- Sitting down with those they are visiting and listening to their stories
- Giving LOTS of hugs
- Laughing and crying with them
- Being careful to dress modestly and making others feel comfortable
- Asking people what they believe about God and quietly listening
- Sharing, not preaching, and only when appropriate, your own story of how and why you love God
- Trying very hard to learn some of their language. Even a few words can make a big difference.
- Play games with them. Games are universal.
- Sing with them in your language and theirs. Music is universal.
- Learn the names, carefully, of the people with whom you are working.
- Try to build at least one meaningful friendship. Get their address (if possible) and write them!
- Ask them if there is anything that they might want to do. (You'll be surprised what they might say!)
- Worship with them in their own church on Sunday
- While doing #13 - sit with them. (not in your own group)
- Share your own hurts and struggles. Be real! Let them pray for you! :-)
- Spend every morning in the Word and in prayer. Listen for God to speak before you start your "work".
- Go "local" (if possible). Eat with them, wear local clothes, etc. Let them see your respect for their culture.
- Be sure you have a truthful and meaningful answer if someone asks "Why are you here?".
- Bring a giving heart! Time, money, blood, sweat and tears. God can use it all!
- Look for the outliers. Those people on the edges. Sit with them. Talk with them.
- Bring a copy of your favorite verse in both languages. Learn to say it in their language and teach it in English too! :-) (then talk about it!)
- Go somewhere that has an established ministry and help them with their need and mission.
- Did I say to give out lots of hugs? :-)
- Remember, it's HIS mission, not ours. Find out what He is doing and be a part of that. It will be so much more rewarding.
Short-term missions can be a good and beautiful thing. Work 'toward' whatever God has planned and 'His' mission.
By reaching out in love, with caring attitudes and humble hearts we can be the face of Jesus on this earth - no matter where we go!
Matt
p.s. - I challenge everyone to add in the comments below a million more GOOD things we should be doing on these trips. The list should be endless. :-)
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